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    political congestion

    A motorist, on his way home from work in Westminster came to a dead
    halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual.
    After a short while, he noticed a Police Officer walking towards him,
    between the lines of stopped cars. He rolled down his window and asked,
    "Officer, what's the hold up?" The Constable replied: - "Tony Blair is 
    depressed, so he stopped his motorcar and is threatening to douse himself with petrol and set himself on fire.
    He says no one believes his stories; about why we went to war in Iraq , 
    or that there is no pensions crisis, or the worsening economy, or that
    constant adding of stealth taxes, or that his education reforms are going to do any good, or that the health service is safe in his hands, or that immigration is under control, or that he's not George Bush's lapdog, or that his Party's proposed tax cuts won't help anyone except his wealthy friends, or that his chairmanship of the European Community hasn't just led to more power being surrendered to the French ........ So we're taking up a collection for him. 
    Thoughtfully, the man asks, "How much have you got so far?"
    The Officer replies, "About forty gallons, but a lot of people are
    still siphoning........"

    26 avril 01:05:49 | Ajouter un commentaire | Lire les commentaires (6) | Lien permanent | Ajouter au blog

    memories



    A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things.
    They decide to go to the doctor  for a checkup. The doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember. Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets
    up from his chair. His wife asks, "Where are you going?""To the kitchen" he replies.
    "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"
    "Sure.""Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asks.
    "No, I can remember it.""Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. You'd better write it down because you know you'll forget it."
    He says, "I can remember ! that! You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."
    "I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, so you'd better write it down!" she retorts.Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember it!
    Leave me alone! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!" Then he grumbles into the kitchen.
    After about 20 minutes the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.She stares at the plate for a moment and says - "Where's my toast?
    14 avril 14:06:23 | Ajouter un commentaire | Lire les commentaires (7) | Lien permanent | Ajouter au blog

    Just plane blonde



    A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY FROM LOS ANGELES TO HOUSTON WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN. THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS AND ASKS TO SEE HERTICKET. SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK
    THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLOND, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO HOUSTON AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."

    THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.

    THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.

    THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO HOUSTON AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE.
    THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.

    THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL HANDLE THIS. I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE."

    HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE LEANS OVER AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND BLUSHING SLIGHTLY SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND SHE GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY.

    THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS.

    I TOLD HER, "FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO HOUSTON."
    12 avril 19:28:37 | Ajouter un commentaire | Lire les commentaires (2) | Lien permanent | Ajouter au blog

    The good Fairy

           A married couple in their early 60s was out celebrating their
    35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
    Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said,
    "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to
    each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.
        "Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband" said
    the wife. The fairy waved her magic wand and poof! - two tickets for theQueen Mary II luxury liner appeared in her hands.
        Then it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment and said,
    "Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will
    never come again. I'm sorry, my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30
    years younger than me. " The wife and the fairy were deeply
    disappointed, but a wish is a wish,   So the fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - the husband became92 years old.

        The moral of the story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should
    remember fairies are female.
    11 avril 19:41:27 | Ajouter un commentaire | Lire les commentaires (2) | Lien permanent | Ajouter au blog